Cookie Crumbles...

So I really suck at blogging (this is your fair warning). My desire to blog comes and goes in waves (story of my life)... waves that last months, possibly years, at a time. It seems I feel a new wave coming. Maybe the reason I get so burned out on blogging is because before I always wrote a freaking novel for each post. So I'll change my ways, and attempt to break it up a bit.

I have been WAITING... waiting to have some sort of epiphany about what I want to do with my life. Epiphany maybe isn't the right word, since I've been actively searching for it... epiphanies are always a nice and easy way to come about it though. I think now I am finally coming close. There are a few different paths that I can see myself happily following and they are all different degrees of ideality and practicality. In fact, allow me to tangent for a bit, that too is the story of my life... idealism vs. practicalism, as I'm sure it is for a lot of people. Brain vs. heart... what to do... oh what to do... always. Anyway, here are a few paths that I'd be happy following, listed in order of most practical to most ideal:

1. Financial services, which would hopefully turn in to foreign trade, which after a while I'd have enough money to do comfortably invest on my own which would become my main/sole source of income.
2. Work for/start a firm that sells "green" mutual funds and other "green" securities.
3. Work for/start a non-profit organization that works for a "greener" Earth (alternative energy, alternative resources, organic foods, pollution reduction, etc.)
4. I feel silly even writing this, but I've always wanted to be involved with film. So since I haven't involved myself in acting since high school, writing any screenplays (but something I've considered), or directing, editing, filming... I figure movie production would be something that's attainable. Production in itself has many different facets, but I'm talking about the financing part, where you get to be part of making executive decisions. Actually, something I just thought of that would be AWESOME, but I don't know if it even exists or if it generates reasonable income, is a location scout. Wouldn't that be sweet to get to travel around the world looking for a good spot to shoot a film and get paid for it?
5. Either starting or eventually own a winery/vineyard. My absolute life goal, which I think I will definitely pursue at the very least "on the side"... somehow. That (how I envision it) incorporates everything that currently makes/would make me happy: being an entrepreneur, nature, wine, family, and so many other things that I'm not going to take the time to list.

Those also range in order of how good I'll feel about myself, I think, well... on second thought, maybe not... it's kind of jumbled up... 4 might be before 2 in that scenario. I just feel like I need to have a career that does more than just generate money for myself, something for the "greater good". I'm trying to stop regretting how I went about choosing a major before I entered college. A big part of me wishes I went pre-med (but I don't know if I could deal with needles... I'd probably get over it soon enough though... and also, the long hours that surgeons have that would interfere with starting/raising a family) or even some science degree like botany or viticulture (not offered at UNL... well not really).

I don't think I actually want to decide to pick one out of there, I'll probably pursue all five somehow and then pick from what I'm offered. That way, fate can actually play a role without too much interference from my internal battle between idealism and practicalism.

And I definitely did not succeed at writing just a short note.