Green goodness

I am now an official crazy plant lady. I started a ton of plants from seed (inside) this spring and spent way too much time perfecting my green thumb... like a pathetic amount of time. Instead of spending the money to buy the seedlings from the greenhouse in early summer, I figured I'd just do it myself for a fraction of the cost. I bought about 60 peat pellets to start in plastic containers (to simulate a mini-greenhouse) and started seeds in all of them. Not all of them made it... but it's probably better that way because I went a little OCD on them.

Second stage was then transplanting the seedlings into slightly larger containers, 4" black plastic containers. This is so that they can develop a good root system before the final transplant into the big containers. So I spent an entire Sunday on my balcony putting a little over 50 seedlings in to tiny little containers. When this was over, I looked at my balcony lined with little black pots and saw just how many plants I actually have on my balcony now. At first, I was so proud of myself for growing so many plants from seed... it felt like a little victory. This quickly transitioned to the realization that having about 50 little plants on my teeny tiny balcony makes me look a little psychotic. At this point, I started my downward spiral of rejection.

The plants grew bigger and bigger and my annoyance with them grew proportionally. "WHY did I start this many plants... I can't even fit them all on my balcony. I will either have to give them away or simply kill some of them". They would dry out on hot days and I'd forget to water them, causing many to die or fall over from being top-heavy and get infested with bugs. It was just an annoyance at this point dealing with them because they weren't big enough yet to bloom or produce anything edible, they were simply existing needing my constant attention. I was okay with the ones dying because I couldn't plant them all anyway and I'm cool with Darwinism. When some finally started to bloom, I continued to give them attention, but didn't put them in their final pots because I was lazy. A few of the poor plants finished their blooming in their cramped little black plastic homes. At this point, I felt sorry and decided it was time to finally put them in their final homes. After all, I had everything purchased... containers, soil, fertilizer... I just had to do it.

Last weekend, I spent another Sunday with my plants. I put them all in their final pots (10 in all!) and they look beautiful. They are thriving now and the ones I thought had stopped blooming decided to show off for just a bit more. My balcony now looks very pretty with all the different colors of pots and the beautiful blooming flowers. I no longer look OCD and my balcony no longer sterile with lines of black and green. This is just another little accomplishment that I can hold on to for the time being and they make me happy. I now lovingly care for them every day and sometimes just go out and sit to look at them. From seed to fruit... I actually grew something!

Here is a list of my plants by container:

-Red hibiscus (my old friend, have had since last summer)
-6 four o'clocks - in hanging basket
-3 zinnias, 2 bluebells
-6 columbines
-5 snapdragons
-Red cherry tomato, yellow cherry tomato, 3 nasturtiums (tomatoes need a little support from bamboo stakes and garden twine)
-Green cherry tomato, white cherry tomato, purple/brown cherry tomato
-2 bell peppers, 2 fennels
-Swiss chard, broccoli raab, 3 poblano peppers
-3 cilantros
-5 dills
-Basil, sage, thyme (coming from my mom in a week)

I Pine for Canine

So I went to get my mail the other day, and I noticed a sign above the mailboxes saying that my apartment complex now accepts dogs! I had wondered when this would happen, since I have seen SO many dogs around the place (it's a gated community, so I knew they were residents). I had already resigned myself to not getting a dog until I had a yard that it could play in and I had time to spend with it. However, once I moved in, I noticed there are several large areas of grass (big enough to throw a frisbee around on or play catch) in my community, one of which is right across from my building. Also, there is a park right across Pacific as well as a bike/running trail that starts right there. Additionally, I would love to get up early with it, take it for a walk/run, I could come home for lunch (I usually do anyway), and I'll be home in the evenings. That leaves 4 hours in between morning and lunch, and another 4 between lunch and evening, it would be home by itself. Is that too long?

So, if I do decide I can get a dog while I'm at my current apartment, it probably won't be until next summer. This is because I don't want to spend all that money right now when I just started my job, and also, I'm still settling into my own apartment and surroundings myself. I wouldn't want to get one in the winter, because I'd feel bad for a wittle baybee puuuupppy to be out in the frigid cold so soon after it's born. I'd want to have the chance to train it outside when it's nice out.

This is mainly because I have such an affection for dogs, but also, because I'm now living on my own and it'd be nice to have some sort of companion. I miss my old dog, Suzie (she was 16 when we had to put her down a couple years ago) so much and I still crave that bond between pet and owner that you just can't get with a fish, rodent, or even a cat. My plants are the closest thing I have to that right now... haha... and that's pathetic.

Anyway, so I have a few breeds in mind, and welcome comments about them:

• Weimaraner - I love their unique look (silvery grey coat, light blue eyes) and think they're a beautiful dog. The only problem is that it's a big dog, and I don't know how well it would do in an apartment. Also, I've seen some articles that say they shed and others that say they don't. If it does shed, that just might nix it as an option. Also, they're a great hunting dog, which I know my Dad would appreciate. I don't know if it would be possible to have it trained to hunt with my Dad since I live in Omaha, he lives in Lincoln, and the land is by Crab Orchard. I mean we could, but I don't know if it could be consistent enough to do any good. I think my Dad could warm up to the idea of having a part-time dog at their house when he wants to hunt. This is the only big dog I think I would be willing to go with. They supposedly are very active (thus needing to be walked a lot), but supposedly have a great temperament.
• Bichon Frise - this is what Suzie was and it's what I'm used to and know. They are a cute little dog, don't shed, and have a fun temperament. The only thing is that I think it could be weird, because I feel I would be replacing Suzie with a mirror image. Suzie has to be respected... haha... that's corny.
• Westie (West Highland Terrier... I think?) - They're adorable... and don't shed... and are a good size for an apartment.
• Miniture Pinscher - I love Doberman Pinschers and this is just a bite-sized one. They have a pretty coat, are active, don't shed, and again, a good size.
• Willing to consider any other non-shedding, preferably small(er), dog.

Anyway, I'd love to hear comments and/or suggestions. I'll have to do a lot of research and a lot of saving for initial cost, vaccines, training, supplies, food, etc. But I'm excited to have a pooch of my own someday.

Return Address

I decided it was a good time to get back into this thing. I guess I can preface this post with what my life is like now: I graduated from UNL with degrees in Finance and International Business (minors in Spanish and Computer Science) on May 10. And yes, I did indeed graduate with a qualifying GPA to officially graduate from the Honors Program and J.D. Edwards (now Jeffery S. Raikes School of Computer Science and Management... whew that's a mouthful... typeful... fingerful... what?). I was pretty sad that grades weren't in in time for commencement so that I could wear the pretty red and white things with everyone else in JDE, but hey, it's on my diploma now and that's all that matters. I started my job at Hewlett Packard in Omaha, NE on June 23. I moved into my new apartment (more like a townhouse) at The Tradition at 157th and Pacific on July 5. I have a one bedroom and at first it was weird to have all that space to myself, but now I am just in love with it. My roommates are my plants that I have on my balcony: my beautiful red hibiscus and my herbs. I can't wait to get everything decorated the way I want, because right now I have a hodgepodge of inherited furniture so it still looks somewhat like a college dorm room. I never thought that I would STILL be in Nebraska (I have tried to get out a handful of times), but I am truly loving Omaha. It's funny that I know hardly anyone from college living here, but I have a ton of family and a ton of friends from high school living here. I am really excited about my job, and right now I am going through a crazy training schedule, but soon enough, I will earn my wings and take off. Ask me about what I do then and I'll be able to explain it MUCH better than I can now.

I went back and read all my posts (all 7 of them... ha) and some were pretty funny to read, like the very first one, and some are still pretty accurate but kind of ironic now. First of all, my first post when I talked about what kind of job I wanted to have when I graduated was WAY off... except for the vineyard thing... and medicine. First and foremost, I still have my dream of owning a vineyard someday, however, I have failed miserably and my first attempts to grow a vine... I am still deeply depressed about that. Secondly, I am still highly interested in medicine, however, I can't justify flipping my life upside down at this point and time to go back and see if I could do it. The good news is, my entire social network in Omaha so far is made up of my doctor friends... and by that, I mean UNMC students and my cousin who is a Med Tech at Lakeside. I LOVE talking to them about what they do... even if I do squeal and squirm when Marie tells me about adventures in phlebotomy. So it satisfies me for now. Oh... and I'm still very green-obsessed: I recycle just about everything, I just bought a bamboo blanket, and Planet Green is my new favorite channel. Also, when I talked about finding an apartment in downtown Lincoln because it's so "my style", I did indeed live in Federal Place for my last year of college and it was just about the coolest apartment ever... and yes, it was very much "my style". However, it's ironic that I live in suburbia now in Omaha... mostly because living in downtown Omaha would have made the commute to 108th and Dodge a living hell. I would have LOVED to find a loft in the Old Market, and maybe I will change my mind in the next few years, however, I really liked the idea of having my own garage/private entrance/driveway, a balcony, a pool, and a nice fitness room. So I found a place that had all those... oh, and a rockin' floorplan. My favorite rooms in my apartment are my kitchen and bathroom, mostly because they're so big I don't even know what to do with myself in them. It's so fun to work in a big kitchen, with lots of counterspace, and a glass of wine in hand since I can store so many bottles in my pantry now (dude... I have like... a mini cellar). Oh... however, my balcony just might be tops... I just love to be outside when the weather is nice. And let's face it, my hibiscus is just the prettiest thing to look at... yes, I'm very proud of it and it loves me too. I think I should name it.

Anyway, I'm still at this giddy, fresh, naive point in my life right now because I love starting out fresh with a blank slate and I think the world is mine, I can make of it what I will... however, I need to figure out what I want to do. First and foremost, I'm anxious to meet some new people... unfortunately, there really isn't anyone at work who is even close to my age (I am the youngest by about 7 years) but there is still great comraderie, and the same is pretty true for my apartment complex, that and the only time you really see anyone else is when they're driving past your apartment. I think I've seen some fellow youngins driving by, but I have no idea which apartment they live in. I guess there's hope for the awkward introductions at the pool and fitness room... but hey, I'm good at that stuff. Also, I want to get involved in some stuff that will occupy my weeknight... nights. I'm thinking about joining a USTA tennis league, but I'll still have the same problem with not meeting anyone my age (unless the old ladies have young, handsome, and eligible sons... HEYOOOO). I wanted to join Young Professionals but I discovered that Omaha doesn't have one! How weird is that?!?! I thought maybe finding some rock climbing wall here and getting into that because I enjoyed it the few times I did it at UNL. Maybe some volunteering with Humane Society as a dog walker (but my mom says she doesn't think I could take it because they euthanize most of those dogs). I thought maybe I'd invest in an easel, canvases, and paint and have a go with that... I used to LOVE painting. Anyway, I need to start nailing down some of these things and get going... because I'm getting bored! Ideas welcome by the way.

I'm excited to think about what my weekly routine is going to be in a few months, but I've gotta make sure I get going on that now. It's so exciting to start planning a new life... but it's scary because it isn't gonna be so new one day. Of course, any one can start new things at any point in their life... but everyone will agree that it's harder to do once you already have an established routine. It's bittersweet.

Mind-body connection

I'll be the first to admit that I'm a bit of a whiner, especially when it comes to aches and pains. But believe me, it's not because I want sympathy, I think it's more due to wanting advice or to talk about the different symptoms (my biggest regret in life right now is not giving medicine a shot... no pun intended). First of all, I've had back problems since the summer and I found out it's due to a protruding thoracic disc (not quite herniated, but probably will someday). Unfortunately, there's no real way to cure this, just practice appropriate pain management... and this REALLY annoys me. I end up talking about this a lot to people because it has never stopped aching for about 4 months now and therefore, it's always on my mind, and I'm hoping someone will have heard of some great therapy that will help it feel better. I like to talk about medical symptoms and cures and I guess I'm kind of a "pusher"... haha... because I like to play doctor. When someone has the first tinge of a sore throat, I offer them an Airborne. When someone says they have a runny nose, I inform them that Sudafed or other decongestant of choice is NOT what they want and instead, should use an anti-histamine to "dry things up". I just can't help myself. I wonder if I am a bit of a hypochondriac at times because I always seem to have something that needs a prescription of sorts (back, allergies, swollen lymph node on the right side of my throat, stuffy nose, bad scars, flat hair, bad habits, etc.)... I'm always looking for a cure for something that's nagging me. I'm trying to stop (an Rx for another bad habit?) and just see how these "ailments" pan out because it can't be healthy to constantly self-diagnose things.

Anyway, I didn't really have a point with all that, just more of what was on my mind. However, recently, I have had a new ailment that is really annoying and I think it's due to mainly stress and lack of sleep. This semester has just been HELL to say the least... I'm doing well... just SO much to do (don't get me started on goddamn group projects) that I haven't even had time to fold clothes properly after being washed. I've had clothes hanging on the rack for about a week now that I probably need to just throw in the wash again since they've been collecting dust. So anyway, this semester brought me an early class Monday through Friday which I like (I like being up early), however, it also means that going to bed around 3am and getting up at 6:30am every day is REALLY unhealthy. I have never felt more tired in my life and for once, I'm not actually going to blame myself for this one. I am busy until 6-7pm every night and by the time I get done making and eating dinner, it's 8pm and I'm just starting homework which I've consistently had a TON of. I just realized I'm whining again... but really, I've been going full speed since September and I don't really feel like I can help it. Anyway, long story short, getting a late start on homework causes a late bedtime with an early start everyday and I think it's affecting my health.

If I am particularly exhausted toward the end of a week, I start to have excruciating pain in my upper abdomen (right under my rib cage) that makes me double over for about 10 seconds, then 10 seconds of recovery, then 10 seconds of pain, and the cycle continues for about 5 minutes every half hour. Usually it happens when I'm really hungry, so then I eat something, and it happens again as soon as I've finished eating. Recently it's started to make me nauseous and I just have to lie down for about a half hour... where I end up falling asleep, only to wake up at 4 or 5am and realize I still have work to do before class. Ugh... I can't wait for this semester to be over! I've never felt pain like this before in my stomach and it's starting to worry me a bit but I think I'm going to wait another month to see what happens. I'm just coming to the end of a particularly busy and stressful few weeks so hopefully I can relax and get some good shut-eye so that I can fully assess the circumstances.

Anyway, the reason I always talk about "symptoms" is because I like to give my advice (I have a knack with medicine) and I ALWAYS like to receive advice and opinions, which does not include "oh poor Frannie, I hope she's okay". I look for someone who can help walk through the triggers and reasoning behind these things (I'm using medical symptoms as an example, but really, I'm talking about every other thing in life that you can discuss). I CRAVE advice and different viewpoints because I am anal about having a thoroughly-analyzed solution. I am a pretty open person if I've gotten to know you and a lot of times I end up with "word vomit" (to steal a phrase from Mean Girls) where it's a lot like going to the doctor, telling them every single little symptom so that they have a full understanding of what is ailing you so that they can give more adequate advice and come to a sound diagnosis. A lot of the things you told the doctor are unnecessary and you know it but you feel it could just be that little thing that makes the difference between a chest cold and pneumonia.

So basically what I'm trying to say is, if I'm having a discussion with you, it could be about the meaning of life or why puppies are just so darn cute, be honest with me and say what's on your mind, don't hide it behind, "yea... mmhmm... I think you're right... yea". I don't need to hear that I am right because more than likely, I have reservations about my thoughts and opinions and wouldn't be talking about it if I already thought I was 100% correct. I am very open to suggestion and very willing to change my mind if someone has an opinion or advice that makes more sense... I do this frequently because I like to reason and deduce what the best solution is and the best way to go about that is by researching all the different possibilities and outcomes.

Anyway, that was some major rambling and it really bugs me that it's quite grammatically incorrect all over the place... but stream of consciousness is how I roll.

The best things in life are free... well just about

The best things in life all involve something good to drink, someone to be with, and jazz.

Regret?

I'm thinking I'll start to intermittently post things I'd like to do or learn how to do someday. These things are always popping into my head, so I figured it would be good to start writing them down. To start off:

Kiteboarding.

Contradictory thoughts

I have a good friend who is a grad student at Virginia Tech. With the tragedy that happened on that campus a couple days ago, it's obvious she's the first person I thought about and was so afraid for her well-being. I was eating breakfast at Selleck right after the first shootings happened and saw the footage on CNN, so I immediately tried to get a hold of her and was so happy to actually talk to her. Needless to say, she knew better than to go to campus that day and thank god she didn't because at the time we spoke, the second and more horrific round of shooting still hadn't happened. I know that she is okay and I cannot stop thinking about what kind of things she must be thinking now and also, what kind of things must have been running through the shooter's head as he was pulling the trigger.

Several things have been floating through my mind because of this... some obvious... some surprising... some that make me uncomfortable.

First and foremost, I think about the 33 students that happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. The thing I wonder about them is what they had on their minds that morning when they woke up. Were they happy to start a new day? Were they regretting not calling their parents/brother/sister back the night before? Did they have a feeling of what the day might bring? Did they sense anything that made this morning different than any other? I always thought that you would have some sort of intuition about the last day of your life, but now I'm not so sure. Putting myself in my friend's shoes, if she had been a victim, she probably would have started her day like any other and thought nothing of it. After all, these poor kids were probably only awake about an hour before they died, they probably didn't have time to even think of what time they would eat lunch. I wonder what their dreams were like during the night before.

Second, it was strange to feel my fear, anger, and sadness build throughout the day. Why does it happen this way? One would think that your emotions would be the most raw at the moment you hear the news... when it's most shocking. However, my emotions didn't really hit their peak until the day after. Maybe it's because the shock wears off and you process more thoughts as the day/time goes on. It still seems backwards to me... actually... I don't know... there probably isn't a hard-and-fast rule for how humans process emotions.

Third, it's a strange thing to feel both happy that someone is alive while being sad that others died. I don't know quite how to process it and maybe that's why the previous thought is confusing to me. Also, I know that my friend has family and other friends that are much closer to her than I am, and I almost felt guilty about trying to contact her to see if she was alright, because people that matter more to her were probably trying to do the same thing and she was probably trying to contact them. I felt guilty about taking time away from them. But then that also made me feel guilty that I felt maybe I shouldn't be trying to contact her.

Finally, the cliched question... I wonder if she was aware of all the people who cared about her and were worried about her well-being. If I was in her shoes, who would try to contact me? I feel selfish for even thinking that while so many people are grieving, but I'm guessing that more people than she thought were worried about her and tried to call her.